The Garden Filled With Weeds

Movie Reviews, ACG and Cosplay Discussion, or just any rambling topics that come to my mind.

Apparently, My Handwriting Sucks May 25, 2013

Growing up there’s always those few things people kept telling you about yourself, things they thought you don’t know and don’t realise, and they need to take up the role of the hero to remind you about it.

For me, those things were:

1.My height

2.My hair length

3.My pale skin tone

4.My handwriting

The first three was pretty much fixed on me, so whenever someone mentions it, I’ll just smile and agrees, yes I am pretty tall, has really long hair, and I am indeed pretty white for an Asian… But when it comes to my handwriting, sometimes I had to disagree.

The story goes like this.

I came to Singapore at the age of 8, my English level was as low as you could possibly imagine, and it’s hard to pick up writing and speaking a new language in a whole new environment that you’re unfamiliar with.

From primary 1 to primary 5, I could still agree with others that my handwriting is indeed pretty terrible, and I always tried my best to improve.

Then during primary 6, when my form teacher, who I still highly respects even till today, mentioned to the entire class that I have terrible handwriting in a pretty harsh tone, it sort of damaged my confidence.

The fact that some bullies in class picked it up and rubbed it in me whenever they wish to bully me didn’t help the situation.

(Long story short about the bullies, I ran to the toilet and cried, then when I got out of the toilet, the situation was reversed and I fought back to them, throwing their papers all over the place and made a mess in the class with all their worksheets, from then on they never dared to bully me again.)

That incident grew into me, and till now, I still can’t forget how damaging it was to my self confidence.

Reason being, I didn’t think my handwriting was THAT bad at that point of time.

My teacher also often praised this classmate of mine, who writes like a robot.

I could never understand how is her tiny boxy handwriting nice, perhaps it was neat, but personally it was an absolute pain to read them.

Many people always mentioned about one thing, ‘You can tell a person’s personality from their handwriting’.

This logic always makes me wonder, exactly what sort of handwriting represents a positive personality?

Is it wrong to write with your own style? Expressing yourself? Or should we all write like robots, with accurate measurement of every letter fitting perfectly onto the paper?

I get extremely defensive of my handwriting as I grew older, whenever teachers mention to me about my handwriting, I just smile and nod, but never actually took in the advice.

Now that I think about it, if they really wanted writing assignments that’s perfectly legible, why not just request for us to type it out and print it?

You know, after reading so much, why not I just show you guys my handwriting, and let you be the judge?

Forgive my lousy phone camera

Yes, I know, some of you are gonna cringe and tell me, ‘your handwriting is pretty bad’.

But you know what, I’m proud of it, I call it cursive, how many people nowadays still writes in cursive?

It’s a personal identity, even if it’s messy to some people, I personally love it.

Just like how we compare Merida and Rapunzel, Merida has hair that looks like she’s having bad hair day all day all night, while Rapunzel looks like she’s got hair that never ever tangles.

Don’t get me wrong, I adore them both.

Most of you probably cringe at Merida’s hair and pray for Rapunzel’s hair, but when you take away Merida’s crazy curls… She’s no longer the same Merida we know.

She will lose a very distinct trait about herself, we’ll no longer see her the same way as before.

We all have that one or few things that no one else appreciates, but we ourselves is absolutely in love with it.

Be it the length of your lashes, the way your hair curls, how you stand… the little things that only you notice.

We all need those things, to feel more like… ourselves.

People always tries to define what is better than the other, what is perfect, such as logic like big eyes are good and small eyes are bad, sharp chin, V-shaped face…

As a result we see beauty pageant contestants looking exactly like each other.

This is why I always hate it when people tell me that I look like or act like someone, even if it doesn’t offends me, but it takes away my exclusive personal identity.

It’s the same with what they’re doing to my handwriting, telling me I should follow a ‘good example’, and become just like them, taking away my form of expression to fit into their definition of good.

So no matter how many times people tell me that my handwriting sucks and I should improve, I’m never gonna change it, even if I ever change it, I’ll let it happen naturally, it flows and goes, nothing forced upon my right hand.

And you, my friend, should also find that few things you’re absolutely stubbornly in love with yourself.


People Behind Bars September 24, 2012

Filed under: random — Zakito @ 12:01 AM
Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The title is misleading in some ways, but what I’m focusing on today is about visitors of jail.

Let me give you some background story before I start voicing my opinions on some issues.

So when I was secondary 3(2 year ago), the school selected a few students from each class, to participate in this program that requires us to go to the jail(along with the school) and have an understanding of how jails are like, and how we should not end up in there.

I felt a bit offended, to be honest, because I thought they selected me because they think I am a terrible student and need discipline.

So I asked my mom to talk to the teacher-in-charge and got me out of this program.

2 years ago, my thoughts were selfish.

2 years later, when I think back, it was no longer something embarrassing, instead it’s something I’m glad I dropped out of.

I imagined how it would be like if I did go, I would see the prisoners, behind bars, or doing somethings they had to do.

Then the thought came to me, “in that way it’s just like visiting a zoo”.

They’re behind bars, they’re shown to the students as a bad example, students from every school visit the prisoners just to look at how much of a terrible person they were, and ended up being like this.

It was cruel, too cruel.

If I had ended up in jail, the last thing I want to be seen as, is a caged animal.

I have a rather strong sense of dignity and pride, and even as a prisoner I would not be able to take such shame.

Singapore is not exactly the kindest towards their prisoners, canning is something so common that, we do it in public schools too.(I have personally witnessed it twice)

Of course canes in prison are a lot harder and stronger than the ones used in school, to the stage they can literally split someone’s ass into many parts.

Yes, there will be blood.

For a country who could do this to their prisoners, letting the prisoners be zoo animals for a few hours definitely doesn’t sound that bad, right?

In a way I admit, it is a rather powerful message, it works well, fear factor worked perfectly, crime rates are considered low compared to other cities…

But I just can’t do that.

I can’t bear the thought of looking at another human being, not knowing their story, and immediately judging them as if they’re despicable.

I don’t want to be judged like that, so neither do I want to judge others like this.

Many think it’s harmless, because they think, ‘I’ll never be in that position’.

But who knows?


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